Early days of wonder and seeking in the California woods.

Early Seeds of Wonder

Even as a child I was drawn to the big questions of life. I was curious about science, morality, and existence and had my earliest mystical experiences enjoying the beauty of nature. Growing up in a high-control patriarchal religious community, I saw abuses of power and double standards for women that conflicted with my strong sense of justice. By the time I was twelve, I was was experiencing a faith crisis that plunged me into depression, self-harm, and substance use. Books and education became the keys to my freedom.

The life of the Mind

In my teens, I turned to Buddhism and philosophy to try to make sense of life and death. I believed that if I could understand everything, I could make it out. Eventually I did escape to college and earned a Master’s degree in philosophy with high honors. I focused on feminist and political thought seeking to understand power, freedom, and justice. Meanwhile, I was also navigating multiple sclerosis, addiction, and toxic relationships. At one point, I was accepted into PhD programs, but after a destabilizing awakening experience, I realized I needed a different kind of path. Philosophy had sharpened my mind, but logic and postmodern culture offered little in the way of meaning-making.

Returning to the Body

Even though I had discovered yoga and meditation as a teenager, it wasn’t until 2021, when I committed fully to sobriety, that these practices became central to my life. Through meditation and 12-step recovery, I began to see the unhealthy patterns I had been repeating: high-control groups, narcissistic relationships, toxic workplaces. Like many women raised in Christian culture, I had long been divorced from my body, taught to treat it as a source of shame or danger. Through these embodied practices, I was finally beginning to heal.

Devotion and Discipline

In 2022, my practice intensified. I enrolled in a graduate seminar on Buddhism at CU Boulder and initiated into Kriya yoga. I made the radical choice to quit my unfulfilling corporate job and move into a yoga ashram. I lived there for a year and a half, immersing myself in the yogic lifestyle. Days began at dawn with meditation, seva (selfless service), and teaching yoga, meditation, and cooking classes. I completed my 200-hour yoga teacher training, performed in the kirtan band, and even took a personal vow of brahmacharya (celibacy) for a season of deep study. That life gave me profound mystical experiences and a deep sense of discipline. Yet the deeper I got, the more I saw the patterns of control and manipulation emerging within the community. Leaving the ashram was both painful and liberating: an act of reclaiming my autonomy while carrying forward the genuine wisdom I had received.

From Head to Heart

The thread of my journey has been moving from my head into my heart. After leaving the ashram, I realized how much of my energy had gone into chasing after external authority. Today my spirituality feels more integrated and authentic. It shows up, as Brené Brown says, in a collection of choices to show up and be real. In tending the land my family has cared for for generations, in cooking meals, in caring for elders and children, in walking through the woods or pulling weeds in the garden. My practice now is to live with intention, to honor the sacred in the ordinary, and to trust myself as both a seeker and a teacher.

Sharing the Journey

Since being in Kentucky, I've trained in Compassion Cultivation at the Tibetan Buddhist center and entered the Spiritual Direction program at United Theological Seminary. Spiritual direction has given me a way to weave together the threads of my life: the rigor of philosophy, the discipline of yoga, the resilience of sobriety, and the insights of mystical experience.

Rooted now in Kentucky, finding grounding in nature on our family land.

My calling now is to companion others who are navigating spiritual questions, leaving high-control groups, recovering from trauma, or simply longing for deeper connection. The road from head to heart is long, but it’s worth walking. I know the terrain of seeking and of suffering, of doubt and of devotion. I believe you don’t have to choose between being smart and being spiritual, skeptical and sincere. And I believe you don’t have to walk it alone.

To learn more about my approach, you can read my blog post: What is Spiritual Direction? If you’re curious about how spiritual direction might support you, I’d love to connect. You can book a free intro call to see if working together feels like the right fit.